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[	userinfo	\|	livejournal userinfo	]
[	archive	\|	journal archive	]

oh wheel of fortune

[Jul. 1st, 2008|10:13 pm]

mock_the_stupid
[jillyjammer]

[

mood

|

blank

]

i downloaded wheel of fortune on my cell phone and was playing the bonus round...

this is what i had

S T _ M P _ N _ G
G R A _ E S

i couldn't figure for the life of me what it was, so i ended up letting the time run out.. and then i saw the answer

S T O M P I N I G
G R A P E S

who knew stompinig was such a difficult word? D:

22 comments|post comment

Toasted Toaster

[Jul. 1st, 2008|07:48 pm]

mock_the_stupid
[birgitm]

[

mood

|

amused

]

My mom and dad are both in their sixties. Mom left dad alone to visit me. My sister went over to see how he was. He's a little bit "special" sometimes.

He was frying a piece of meat.

In the toaster.

Two days later it caught on fire. And for the life of him he couldn't figure out why.

*FACEPALM*

11 comments|post comment

Are we having some trouble with definitions?

[Jul. 1st, 2008|05:55 pm]

mock_the_stupid
[snipescc]

I was shopping today in a new supermarket and noticed a line of individually wrapped, handmade burritos. They came in a variety of flavors, and about 2/3 of the line was marked as “handmade vegan vegetarian burritos” . I though this sounded pretty good, so I read the ingredients list on one to try to guess what it would taste like. The final ingredient in these so-called “vegan” burritos? Chicken Broth.

15 comments|post comment

[Jul. 1st, 2008|06:16 pm]

mock_the_stupid
[myselftheliar]

[

mood

|

confused

]

I have a tattoo of a bee on my arm, just below the wrist. It's very realistic and detailed, but also bigger than a real bee by at least 1x. I mean this would be a mega-size bee if it were real.
I also work retail, and as such see customers all the time every day forever and ever. I have never had any reaction to the tattoo other than YAY! AWESOME TATTOO!
Edit: here is my tattoo, please ignore my year old "I'm growing out a shaved head" look. :X

Today was different. This occurred as I was ringing up a customer, a woman who appeared to be mid 40s-50ish, maybe.

Me: That will be $Xx.XX *reaches for a bag*
Woman: OH MY GOD YOU HAVE A BEE ON YOUR ARM! OH MY GOD!*looks horrified*
Me: *thinking she means my tattoo* Yes, I really like..
Woman: *cuts me off* OH MY GOD A BEE! GET IT OFF IT WILL STING OH GOD! *hits my arm with her purse*
Me: *recoils arm* Ma'am that is a tattoo
Woman: *not listening* YOU HAVE A BEE! ON YOUR ARM THERE'S A BEE! *terrified*
Me: *holds up arm, taps tattoo with my fingers* Oh, no worries, it is a tattoo! *smile*
Woman: *sudden and horrendous anger* OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
Me:.... I like bees a lot.
Woman: That is extremely rude! It's rude to trick people like that!
Me: Well I'm sorry if you were upset
Woman: It SHOULD BE ILLEGAL TO GET TATTOOS THAT OFFEND OR FRIGHTEN OTHERS

And then she left. So... Uh huh. It's totally rude for me to have a tattoo, and totally ok for her to HIT PEOPLE WITH HER PURSE. And she thinks my BEE is awful? Egad, woman. DIAF, or somesuch.

63 comments|post comment

Alaska is in the south?

[Jul. 1st, 2008|01:41 am]

mock_the_stupid
[nikolche]

I was doing a survey for a postgraduate student's study on the GLBT community and humour when I came across this gem:

What geographical region of the United States do you live in?
Northeast (ME, NH, VT, MA, RI, CT, NY, NJ, PA)
Midwest (IL, IN, IA, KS, MI, MN, MO, OH, N, ND, SD, WI)
South (AL, AK, DE, FL, GA, KY, LA, MS, NC, OH, SC, TN, TX, VA, WV, MD, DC)
West (AR, AZ, CA, CO, HI, ID, MT, NV, NM, OR, UH, WA, WY)

Now, at first glance that doesn't seem all too stupid. Then you realise that going by their logic the US map would look a bit like this: ( map behind the cut )

81 comments|post comment

uhh.

[Jun. 30th, 2008|09:43 pm]

mock_the_stupid
[charlies_hoodie]

I was driving to go shopping with my friend Amanda a couple weeks ago. And...

Me: So I'm thinking about going to college in New Zealand.
Amanda: ...They have colleges in New Zealand?
Me: ...Uh...yes?
Amanda: Oh. For some reason I can't think of there being colleges anywhere outside the US and the UK.
Me: *takes a moment to comprehend this* ...Uh...France? Germany?
Amanda: No...I can't even picture that...
Me: *silence* ........Oh......
Amanda: I mean, Mexico has colleges.
Me: It does.
Amanda: But, like, Canada? I just can't picture it...
Me: *considers strangling her with her seatbelt so she can't reproduce*

This is another stupid conversation I had with her that day. About sex.

Amanda: So this guy at work keeps telling everyone I'm easy and I give head in the car. And now everyone wants to drive me home...
Me: That's mean.
Amanda: He also keeps telling people I'm pregnant.
Me: Are you going to do something about this?
Amanda: Eh. He keeps telling people I'm pregnant from giving head....
Me: ..Amanda...you can't get pregnant from that...
Amanda: Yeah you can.
Me: *does a double-take* ....Uh...
Amanda: I mean, if you swallow...
Me: No, Amanda. I'm pretty sure the sperm dies in the process.
Amanda: But...
Me: There is NO WAY for it to get to your - never mind. *counts quietly to self*

So...that's one of my best friends for you.

40 comments|post comment

[Jun. 30th, 2008|07:01 pm]

mock_the_stupid
[barunesusa]

Last week I was at band camp with one of my recently high school graduated friends. We were talking during lunch and she was explaining to us some composer.

Chris (freshman in hs): So, is *insert composer name here* from London?
Friend (soon-to-be freshman in college): No, he's not. He's from England. London is not in England.
Me: .....Yes, it is.
Friend: NO IT'S NOT!

...She honestly would not believe us.

12 comments|post comment

[Jun. 26th, 2008|12:24 pm]

mock_the_stupid
[lust_lizard86]

[

mood

|

wow

]

I work for an electrical contractor. Today, a man calls and asks, "Do you guys fix refrigerators?"

Me: "No, we're an electrical contractor. You need to call an appliance repair company."

Caller: "Can I find that in the yellowpages?"

Me: "Yes."

Caller: "Under 'pliance? With a 'p'?"

Me: "Um, no. It's A-ppliance (stressing the A)."

Caller still doesn't get it, so I proceed to spell appliance.... I don't think I've ever met someone who didn't know the word appliance.

3 comments|post comment

Government stupid

[Jun. 25th, 2008|10:58 pm]

mock_the_stupid
[emrlddragon]

Senator wants something done about imaginary scene in GTA.

There are no words...

http://www.gamepolitics.com/2008/06/25/connecticut-state-senator-alarmed-over-non-existent-rape-scene-gta-iv

( For the Link-aphobic )

42 comments|post comment

Snakeoil

[Jun. 25th, 2008|01:05 am]

mock_the_stupid
[twigathy]

[

mood

|

amused

]

I've always thought that a large variety of Audiophile gear is snake oil. There's a lot of examples out there, like the $500 network cable and the CD demagnetiser. But today, comrades, my fellow intrepid web surfers and I found possibly the most useless component for a PC ever.

Meet the HIS iClear. It's supposed to clear up signals output from your graphics card. How it does that when the 6 capacitors aren't even connected to anything at all I have no idea. And they want ~£40 for this?!

Gamers - the new audiophile.

9 comments|post comment

When you're waiting at a bus stop, generally you're waiting for the bus.

[Jun. 24th, 2008|11:00 pm]

mock_the_stupid
[mesalline]

[

mood

|

amused

]

Me and my friend decided to go to lunch at Starbucks in town. After lunch, we had a wander round and then headed back to the bus stop to catch the bus for the park and ride. We were the first ones in the queue, so we had a ten to fifteen minute wait. Whilst we were waiting, we were talking...as you do. A queue of people started to form behind us, and in between the different conversations every time I'd spotted a bus i'd say to my friend "Is that our bus?" "I wonder when our bus is coming" "I wish our bus would hurry the hell up!" (I'm really impatient when it comes to waiting for the bus.)
We were talking really loud and laughing and making jokes about how busses are always late etc...so it's not like this woman couldn't have heard us.

Anyway, a couple of minutes after i'd asked for what must have been the third time "Is this our bus?" this woman shoves past me and sticks her hand out to stop the bus.
First off, I know you put your hand out for busses, but it's a bus stop soley for the park and ride, and it's full of people...like the drivers not gonna stop anyway.
Then, as the bus pulled up, that woman jumped the queue and got on the bus before us, when we should have gotten on it first.

The woman stood behind me patted me on the shoulder and went:
"Sorry, were you waiting for the buss? We didn't realise, sorry about my friend jumping the queue."
Because the woman apologised and she seemed nice enough, even though it was pretty OBVIOUS we were waiting for the bus, I decided to let it pass.
When we were on the bus though, I heard them talking. It took all of my self control not to burst out laughing, or go over and knock their heads together.
Womans friend: "I didn't realise they were waiting for the bus too..."
Woman: "I know! They were too busy talking weren't they!?"

...So when waiting for a bus, wait in silence, or old people will think that you're just stood there to pass the time.

8 comments|post comment

Some people are too stupid to own a computer

[Jun. 24th, 2008|01:47 pm]

mock_the_stupid
[whysperingwynd]

[	mood	\|	peaceful	]
[	music	\|	Suzanne Vega - Left of Center	]

I work at a Staples Business Depot in Canada, in a small town a few hour's drive from the US border. Any retailer experiences their fair share of stupidity, but this gem had most of the staff in stitches.

An irate woman called our resident tech. She was raving about how she had purchased a brand new Toshiba laptop and the damn thing wouldn't connect to the internet! After trouble-shooting for a few minutes, our tech had to put the lady on hold as he burst into hysterical laughter. He had discovered that:

1. She did not purchase the laptop from us. It was purchased from a Future Shop in a town several hours north of us.
2. She does not have internet access, as she lives in a remote rural area near Bonner's Ferry, across the border in another country.
3. She assumed that the laptop would have unlimited internet access from any location, because it was a "Toshiba Satellite" laptop.
4. She assumed that this unlimited satellite internet access would be absolutely free (naturally).

Can't get any better, right? Oh hell yes it can.

5. When she failed to connect to the internet, she called her son, who concluded that she couldn't access the internet because " the antennae inside must have shaken loose", and he proceeded to tear the laptop apart, thus voiding the warranty and rendering it a useless pile of circuitry.

She couldn't understand AT ALL why this wasn't our problem because "we sell Toshiba laptops" (on a side note, the model she had purchased has never been carried by any Staples store anywhere).

She was even more bewildered and furious when she was informed that not only was this not our problem, it was no longer ANYONE'S problem because she destroyed a perfectly good laptop willfully.

Absolutely priceless.

25 comments|post comment

X-Files Season 1 Down

[Jul. 8th, 2008|12:22 am]

[	Current Location	\|	home	]
[	mood	\|	sleepy	]
[	music	\|	TV	]

Well, I've finished the first season of the X-Files. It is interesting to see what shows are on today borrow from that series. It really was quite ground breaking for it's time. The quality is lacking when compared to things like CSI, but the stories are still good, and it is still unnerving and scary at times. I'm looking forward to finishing the series. All 8 seasons. I highly doubt I can watch the entire thing before the new movie comes out, but I'll get through it eventually. And most likely, they have made the new movie so you don't have to have watched the entire series to get it.

[Jul. 8th, 2008|12:38 am]

tokidoki_it
[cheri_berry]

I recently found my dream bag (Foresta Gioco with my ideal print placement) and bought it, but I've been waiting forever and it still hasn't arrived yet. I'm in Canada, and the seller who is in Hawaii, says she shipped it on June 16th, and it's still not here :( I'm terrified that it may have gotten lost or stolen or something :'(

So here's my question to you guys, in general does mail from Hawaii take longer to arrive, than mail from other states? I'm hoping someone who has done a charge send from Hawaii (to another state) can tell me what their shipping experience was like. Any info would be so appreciated.

5 comments|post comment

[Jul. 7th, 2008|10:46 pm]

70s_rockbands
[stevies_grl233]

Steve: you smell like lavender...
Joe: you smell like cigarettes...

Belize news

[Jul. 7th, 2008|11:06 am]

Dave and I are about halfway through our trip in Belize, and everything has been awesome. We went on an interminable bus ride from scuzzy, scary Belize City to Dangriga; the bus almost ran out of gas when we hit the halfway point in Belmopan, but we made it out ok. The Bluefield Lodge, our home base in Dangriga, was a good choice, as the rooms are cheap, clean, and run by a proprietor who has been incredibly helpful and knowledgeable about getting around the country. We spent 2 days on Tobacco Caye, a tiny 5 acre paradise surrounded by reefs and frigate birds. Yesterday, we traveled to the "inner" Blue Hole, a cool and deep cenote that was very welcome after hiking through miles of mosquito-infested jungle in search of caves and mountain overlooks. Today, we're heading south to the Cockscomb Wildlife Preserve for 2 days of hiking and exploring. I'm so glad I decided to go on this trip, it's been amazing and Dave is a smart and easy-going travel partner.

2 comments|post comment

July 4th

[Jul. 6th, 2008|03:12 pm]

[

mood

|

lethargic

]

We sold our boat last week. We towed it to Kona on Monday and the new urologist in Kona bought it. Jerry is now designing his dream boat and figuring out how to get it from Marysville, Washington to Hilo, Hawaii. He went fishing last Wednesday with Dick on his boat but didn't catch anything.

Jerry worked until 3pm on the fourth. We went to a wine club event at Bonnie Geiger's house that evening. Her place overlooks the Honolii beach park surfing site. We had lamb burgers, sushi, salad, and 4 kinds of wine. We also got to see the Hilo bay fireworks for the first time. It was an OK show but I have seen better. Afterward we stopped by Robin and Jeff's but most everyone had left already.

Last Wednesday I left the gate open for the electric meter reader. Two "dudes" stopped by in an old pick-up truck and wanted to cut coconuts. Apparently the former owner had built a fruit stand for them up by Akaka falls. They sell the coconuts to the tourists seeing the falls. So now we have someone to take care of the huge seeds. They climb the tree and hack lower fronds and clumps of coconuts off. I see this as a win win situation.

We have had warm afternoons and a few rain showers here and there. I have been doing a lot of reading.

Porta reference pics?

[Jul. 5th, 2008|02:09 pm]

tokidoki_it
[shemightbe_asia]

I checked the ref. post, but there was no pic of the Porta. Does anyone have it? What all can you fit inside of it?

Thanks for all of your help! :D

4 comments|post comment

Capitol Idea

[Jul. 3rd, 2008|06:24 pm]

[	Current Location	\|	home	]
[	mood	\|	good	]
[	music	\|	quiet	]

We got out early today. Woo. Good times. So I'm thinking about heading to Austin tonight rather than tomorrow morning, so I can sleep late and now worry about Sara's doggy. I hate leaving animals all by themselves. My desk fits into my car, so I'll be taking the whole thing down to Sara.

I'm looking forward to stopping in West for kolaches.

off we go!

[Jul. 3rd, 2008|06:59 am]

My backpack is stuffed, my passport is ready, and my plane leaves in three hours. See you later, America--hope you don't mind that I'm missing your birthday. Belize, here I come!

Have a great holiday weekend!

2 comments|post comment

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